Reflections on life under quarantine...
monday, may 11, 2020
Tomorrow is my first AP. I'm so ready to be done with all this.
sunday, may 10, 2020
Great news! It seems that it won't be uninhabitable outdoors for the next week. In fact, it's supposed to be a nice 70 degrees on Tuesday. I think I'll go on another long walk after finishing my calculus AP, then. I could definitely use the alone time.
saturday, may 9, 2020
My first AP is on Tuesday. I should really be going to sleep earlier in preparation, but it's stupidly difficult. Even if I plan to go to sleep later always end up staying up an hour or two later than when I actually stop doing things I care about. No particular reason behind it. I just do. It's annoying, because then I just feel like I've, once again, wasted time on emptiness - a common theme throughout my quarantine experience. I can't wait to have no obligation to wake up early again.
friday, may 8, 2020
In a weirdly good mood today. APs are frighteningly close but I'm really excited for school to wind down afterwards. I've never really hated school as a whole (this experience, if anything, has only made me appreciate it more), but online classwork is unbearable.
thursday, may 7, 2020
I still write on this blog because I feel like it's one of the few outlets I have for complete, unabashed sincerity. Sometimes I feel like I have trouble speaking genuinely, because it's easier to put up a facade of detached sarcasm or irony. It's something I've struggled with for a while. I do have a lot of reverence for the art of humor, and I think it's something that deserves respect like any other artform, but I'd like to try and avoid relying on it so much in day-to-day conversation once this is all over.
wednesday, may 6, 2020
Can't write much. Tired. Head hurts. Today was fine. Nothing much happened. Still miss people. Back hurts too.
tuesday, may 5, 2020
As I'm writing this, my internet is down for maintenance. I'm writing this ahead of time and will upload it tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, that means that tonight, I'll be breaking my 40+ day streak of posting to this blog every night (though I still haven't broken the streak of writing for this blog every night). I had a good run.
monday, may 4, 2020
The final stretch starts now, I guess. APs are next week, and school is hell.
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.Cute movie.
sunday, may 3, 2020
I've been getting so many headaches lately. Allergies, maybe? It's awful.
saturday, may 2, 2020
AAAAAAAH WHY DID I STAY UP UNTIL 3:00 AGAIN I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD STOP DOING THAT
friday, may 1, 2020
Today I woke up and realized that the entirety of my neck and arms are sunburned. Fun.
thursday, apr 30, 2020
Whoops, I almost forgot to write this tonight. I was lying in bed, about to fall asleep, when suddenly I remembered my unfulfilled responsibilities.
wednesday, apr 29, 2020
Upon opening this page just now, I was reminded of what I wrote last night while sleep-deprived. Why did I do that?
tuesday, apr 28, 2020
Today was awful, and I don't know why. Sorry to get angsty, but I feel like one of these days, I'm gonna break, or something. I've felt terrible for months now. I keep telling myself that it's just school-related stress that'll go away once summer break starts, but I worry that I'm lying to myself. After all, I don't think spring break helped much. Life just feels like a whole lot of bad news and not much good news right now.
monday, apr 27, 2020
This morning was pretty annoying because of some school stuff, but I went on a walk around my neighborhood for around 2 hours and it was a good time. It's still surreal to see how empty everything is.
sunday, apr 26, 2020
Today, I sat outside with my new headphones and spent about 45 minutes just staring at the night sky. It was nice. Very therapeutic.
saturday, apr 25, 2020
I got a new pair of headphones that'll be ideal for walking around outside. My other pair sounds really nice, but is too bulky to carry around outside.
I like your site, you are a good webmaster, keep going on, corona will be overTo "whoever", whoever you are, this comment made me smile. Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's interesting to think that there are people actually still reading this; I think this site just hit 4,000 views (!!), which is surreal. I guess Neocities has its own community of sorts that's found this place? I only used this for hosting the site because I thought it would work best for a rough-around-the-edges '90s/Geocities aesthetic, not realizing it had its own active userbase and it was more than just a hosting site.
I've mostly been updating this place for my own sake more than anything else - it used to be a school project, but since that's gotten cancelled it's just a small corner of the internet where I can pour my thoughts out.
friday, apr 24, 2020
I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic about the lockdown. Based on a few articles I found, we might be able to start having small gatherings again in a few weeks, which would be a lifesaver. I just want to see people again.
thursday, apr 23, 2020
I went on a walk this morning. It was nice to get out, although it seems like it's going to be unbearably hot out for the next week or two. Maybe I could try going out during the night more.
wednesday, apr 22, 2020
Ugh, school is way too busy again. I've had little free time. These blog posts will get longer again once I'm in a better mood.
tuesday, apr 21, 2020
I've been reconsidering this whole daily blog post thing. It's beginning to feel like a chore, especially as my routine becomes more cyclical than ever. Wake up, do homework, talk to some friends, sleep, repeat. I don't have much to think about.
monday, apr 20, 2020
I feel like I've been wasting my days. I know that quarantine has made things more difficult than normal, but I can't remember the last time my day felt genuinely memorable or meaningful, and that's not a very fun thing to think about.
sunday, apr 19, 2020
I made the mistake of staying up too late again last night, and so today has been short - I woke up late and am going to bed a little earlier so I can do this English essay that's assigned at 9:00 AM tomorrow, for some reason. So, not much to speak about.
saturday, apr 18, 2020
My wish came true. We left the house, but only to stay out of the plumbers' way. We drove all the way to Malibu, making today one of the more interesting beach trips I've had in my life.
friday, apr 17, 2020
Today was interesting. We have a broken pipe under the house, so plumbers came over to fix it, meaning we didn't have any running water for most of the day. Interesting.